“You want me to buy ‘what’ for you?” Usopp stared at the swordsman. He had to be kidding right?
“Condoms.” Zoro repeated, rubbing the back of his neck. “I used the last one last night so...”
Usopp crossed his arms. “So have Luffy do it. He’s the one you need em for anyway.”
The swordsman frowned. “Can you imagine Luffy trying to ask for a box of condoms? He barely understands why we need them.”
“Uh, good point. How about Sanji then?”
“I am NOT asking that shitty cook to buy me anything.”
“Fine. Chopper?”
“Too young.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot. Uh, Nami?”
“I can’t afford her fees.”
“Robin?”
There was a pause.
“That women already knows far too much about my sex life as it is.”
“Not gonna ask...” Usopp sighed, “Why don’t you just go buy them yourself anyway?”
The swordsman coughed slightly. “It’s...embarrassing.”
Usopp’s eye twitched. “That is the lamest excuse ever....” The gunner sighed. “Give me one good reason I should do your perverted shopping for you?”
“Well...” Zoro was suddenly right in front of the younger pirate, lips grazing his ear will one large hand cupped his rear. “Luffy did mention how much fun it would be if you joined us sometime.”
And Usopp’s better judgment when right out the window. “Okay...”
“Make sure to get extra large.”
“Oh God....”